#not so much writing as me losing my mind about it but still

[anakinstwinklebunny]

Soo i was just thinking, maybe more zombie apocalypse Ani? It's just been on my mind lately

Doesn't have to be smut if you don't want, i know i'll like anything you'll write <3

-🦢

The fire crackled softly in the background, casting shadows across the crumbling walls of the abandoned cabin you’d found earlier in the day. You sat on the floor, knees hugged to your chest, eyes darting to the boarded-up, covered in moss windows every now and then. Still you could hear the distant groans and shuffles outside that slowly had eased-- although temporarily-- before they were back in, some louder, some quieter. Yet still, nonetheless, it never truly felt safe. Not out here. Not anywhere.

ANAKIN SKYWALKER crouched a few feet away, sharpening a hunting knife with slow strokes. Jaw was clenched, hand steady despite how it trembled earlier from adrenaline. The fire's light caught the hard lines of his face, highlighting the dark circles under his eyes and the streaks of dried blood on his temple he had forgotten to wipe off. He looked every bit like the battle-worn survivor.

“You should eat,” he said quietly, not looking up from his blade.

“I’m not hungry,” your voice equally low. The truth was, you were too tense to think about food, to think about anything that would force you to use any bit of your little strength. Even talking felt like an exhausting, hard action. Your heart also hadn’t stopped racing since the last run-in with a horde. The image of those rotting hands clawing through the broken car window still haunted you like the worst nightmare.

Anakin’s gaze finally lifted “You need to keep your strength up,” he insisted, tone leaving no room for much further argument. He reached into his pack, pulling out a can of soup and tossing it toward you. “Eat.”

With clumsiness, you had caught it, the can slipping a little in your shaky palms. “I said I’m not hungry,” you muttered, carefully setting it down beside you.

To that, he rose to his full height, taking steps towards you. When he crouched down in front of you, he felt overwhelming, those stormy, ocean-grey eyes locking onto yours. “And I said eat,” he repeated, voice softer now, but no less firm. “I’m not losing you over something as stupid as skipping a meal.”

The words hit you harder than you expected. You blinked, suddenly hyper-aware of how close he was--close enough that you could see the subtle tremor in his hand as he set the knife aside. Close enough for you to notice the weariness on his face. How tired he was, too. How it was all eating him alive. He was just as exhausted, just as scared, but he always managed to mask it, for your sake.

“Anakin…” you started, but he cut you off with a shake of his head.

“You think I don’t notice?” he murmured, his gaze flickering to your trembling fingers. “How you flinch every time you hear something outside? How you barely sleep because you’re too busy making sure I’m still breathing?” His hand reached out, touch surprisingly gentle as he brushed a strand of hair out of your face. “You’re clearly carrying too much, and you’re going to break if you don’t let me help.”

“I’m not… I’m just trying to keep us alive.”

“So am I,” voice dropping to a whisper. “But I can’t do that if you won’t take care of yourself.”

His fingers lingered against your cheek for a moment before he pulled back, reaching back for the can of soup. Without another word, he opened it and handed it to you with an expecting gaze

“Please,” he said, the word barely audible, but you didn't miss the vulnerability in it “For me.”

For a moment longer, you hesitated, before finally taking the can, letting out a shaky breath. “Okay,” you whispered, too familiar tension in your chest easing just a little as you raised the can to your lips.

TAG LIST: @kingdomhate @divineani @haydensprettyprincess @skyguys-princess @catnipaddictt @heartscone @haydensbbg @inneedsoffanfics @jediavengers @literally-izzy @anisluvrgirl @slutforfinnickodair @xhunnybeeex @fuckmyskywalker @gallerygourmet @deceptiive @ysrjune @anakinskwkler @bimbo-baggins17-deactivated2025 @cookybananas @emotionallybruisedx @diorvalentina @sevinax @throughparisallthroughrome @aniiuv @ritosparty @ninastyless @lily-strnlo @thesassypadawan @awhhayden @sydkneez @anisangeldust @l1ttle-misssunsh1ne @anakinca @rubiesarepretty @luluartpop

[obsidianpen]

Howdy! Awhile back you mentioned you weren't likely to get back to Enticed and asked if anyone wanted to pick up and write the rest, you could share your plot/plan with them... I'm no where near as good of a writer as you and couldn't do that (it actually terrifies me the idea of trying to continue a fic that you started tbh, you are one of my favorite writers). But I still find myself sometimes imagining what happens in later chapters of Enticed, for instance the big showdown at the end of OotP where Harry finally presents at the Ministry, and then in Year 6 when Harry as an Omega leads to some kind of huge Alpha fight (I imagine something like a massive chaotic bloody fight in the Great Hall where the Alphas are all triggering each other & beating each other to a pulp/dueling while the Omegas hide and Betas run for cover and teachers try to stop it). So, I wanted to ask if you wouldn't mind sharing maybe your general plot/key scenes with us just for fun? And maybe the endgame couples? If not, no worries! :)

sure! Spoilers ahead!

so yeah Harry presents as a delta (omega) during the whole ministry fiasco, ofc, and it’s about as dramatic as you would expect me to make it. It happens during the possession scene and so V is right there - like couldn’t be closer to it really - and loses all self control and sense of self, trying to uh, get Harry lol but Bella, also a delta, is there, and she and Harry’s dynamics actually revolt each other so she’s not affected at all. She manages to drag her lord away to safety (she is the only one who would be powerful enough to do this), where he otherwise would have been caught by Dumbledore.

Harry meanwhile is a mess, and it’s too late for any kind of repressing potion for him. He gets taken away by Dumbles (who has MUCH more self control than Voldemort btw) and is put into quarantine. Poor Harry, it’s not a fun time.

he eventually resurfaces and is told what all happened. He has a nice little chat with Dumbledore about the uniqueness of being a Delta, which Dumbles knows all about, because duh, Grindelwald was a delta. (He also learns ollivander is a delta).

year 6: Harry is getting all the stares. He’s finally able to perceive magic and now he GETS it. He and Ginny (also an omega) have insta-bonded. Hermione is protective and already planning future ministry legislation. Ron is uncomfortable but is still Harry’s best friend and ride or die.

Draco Malfoy keeps a great distance from Harry but can’t seem to keep his eyes off him. Harry gets it because he’s having the same problem with him and about six other alpha wizards. He still hates him.

Harry is no longer able to stay in the boys dorm. He now has to stay with the other omega girls in their special dorm room, which he finds mortifying at first, but then realizes how necessary that is, and grows to enjoy them quite a lot.

Harry is aggressively adopted by Godiva (self appointed Head Omega of the Gryffindor squad) and is forced to be ‘one of them’ (though he still escapes all the time and prefers to hang out with his ‘lowly beta’ friends). Godiva is upset when she learns his name is not Hadrian or Harrison. She calls him Hadrian anyway. In lieu of being able to give him a real proper lady make over, she and Fey (who has a muggle mother as I’m writing her) figure out Harry’s glasses prescription and get him some contacts ‘so that his lovely eyes can be admired properly’ and because ‘those glasses are hideous and you’re going to make us all look worse if you wear them’. Harry is sort of into it once he gets used to it. Snape kicks him out of class when he shows up without them with no explaination.

Harry becomes obsessed with Draco Malfoy. Hermione tells him it’s just because he’s an alpha and says be needs to go shag someone else to get over it. Ron is still uncomfortable. Harry says it’s def only because Malfoy is up to something Bad but he isn’t sure if he trusts himself anymore.

Harry (who has to be even more meticulous with taking repressants btw, because he’s not as predictable as a delta) thinks yeah maybe hermione is right actually but every time a bold alpha dude hits on him he panics and can’t handle it. Godiva sighs and makes it her mission to teach him.

the Myrtle bathroom scene with Draco goes very differently. Idk for sure how that would go but probably Malfoy has been forgetting to take his repressing shit what with how stressed he is and there’s probably some pretty intense hate sex, or at least very close to hate sex and plenty of hate snogging. Is this drarry? Maybe

the death eaters still break in, Harry still goes with Dumbledore, Dumbledore still dies

seventh year starts semi similarly, Harry is out with Ron and Hermione doing their thing and hunting horcruxes but they have a limited supply of the repressing elixir for Harry. Voldemort, being a bastard who still very much wants to kill Harry (perhaps more than ever now, because deltas are exceptional and this makes Harry more of a threat in some ways), puts insane regulations and safety measures around repressing elixirs for omegas, as well as any ingredient needs to brew it, making it impossible for Harry to get his hands on any without outing himself. They eventually run out when they’re out camping in the woods when Ron is with them and they have the locket.

he has no options. Hermione and Ron have to tie him up and help him suffer through a heat when one hits (they’re beta so they can’t help in the uh, other way). Harry is losing his mind halfway through it. The only thing that helps at all is the locket. He somehow gets to it and puts it on. Locket Tom reaches him in a dream and manages to convince a half-mad Harry to say ‘voldemort.’

the snatchers show up first. This includes Fenrir Greyback. He immediately goes insane upon finding Harry like that. But voldemort has been waiting for something like this to happen, so he shows up too.

big crazy alpha duel. V versus Fenrir. Hermione and Ron can’t get anywhere near the insane magic that’s happening, but Harry can. He’s having the wildest magical awakening of his life, and when he commands these two alphas (who he no longer sees as individuals in his current state) to kill for him, they do (or they try to anyway; Voldemort wins)

and then ofc Voldemort is supposed to kill Harry because that was the point of all this. But he sees his locket and Harry’s wearing it and that poses many questions and, well, if he’s going to kill Harry anyway he might as well enjoy him first. Somewhere in the middle of that much more intense and messed up hate sex, he realizes what Harry is, so of course he takes him ‘home’ (and don’t worry either he takes him away from hermione and Ron first or more likely Harry somehow banished them, idk the details there but I would not have them watching that lmao).

uhhhh yeah that’s about how far I had the plot going in my head!

[elliecore4eva]

Id love a reader x elille story were elille is out on patrol and finds reader injured and takes them in and reader gets more comfortable and left there guard down over time and comes to finally trust Ellie only for elille to overthink and start panicking thinking about caring about someone so hard maybe make it take place after or before Joel's death and maybe make it a series

oooh i love this! i had so much fun writing this piece i called the series “Through the Snow and Shadows” i was also thinking of turning it into a 4 or 5 part series! Thank you so much for requesting! Hope you like it, love!💕

Disclaimer: I used the pronouns, she/her, i wasn’t sure which one to use, please let me know if i would change it to another one!

Pairing : Ellie Williams x Fem! Reader

Genre: Angst/ fluff : slow- burn

Summary: Through the Snow and Shadows follows Ellie as she rescues an injured woman on patrol and brings her back to Jackson. As their bond grows, Ellie struggles with her fear of opening up after losing Joel. Through small moments of trust and vulnerability, they both begin to heal, but Ellie must confront her panic about caring for someone again. A slow-burn, emotional journey with a romantic ending.

Another Disclaimer: There are no specific descriptions of the reader. i did this so it can be enjoyed by a lot of people. Again if there are any elements that make people feel uncomfortable please do call me out, respectfully of course since it isn’t my intention to do so.

Part 1 - Found in the Snow

Ellie had never liked the cold. The bitter wind that cut through her jacket, the snow that coated the ground like a never-ending blanket of white—it all felt wrong. And yet, here she was, trudging through the dense forest outside of Jackson on another patrol, just like any other day. She didn’t expect it to be anything special. It wasn’t supposed to be.

But then she found you.

She had caught sight of your figure lying in the snow, half-buried, limp, and completely still. Ellie’s heart skipped, panic bubbling in her chest as she rushed forward, her breath coming in quick, panicked bursts. She knelt beside you, her hands trembling slightly as she reached out to check for a pulse.

You were alive. Barely. But alive.

The sight of your blood-drenched shirt and torn skin made Ellie’s stomach twist, but she had no time to dwell on it. She had to act. She knew the risks. She’d seen the infected, the bandits—hell, she’d lost people she loved. But you? You were human. And you needed help.

The trek back to Jackson felt like an eternity. Every step Ellie took, carrying you through the snow, felt heavier than the last. She was tired, cold, and scared, but she couldn’t let you go. Not like this. Not when you were still breathing, still fighting.

When she finally reached the gates of Jackson, Tommy and a couple of the medics helped get you inside. Ellie was too worn out to speak, her mind swirling with a million questions she didn’t have answers to. What had happened to you? How had you ended up out here all alone?

And why, despite everything, did Ellie feel this strange pull to stay by your side?

Days passed, and Ellie found herself visiting you in the infirmary every chance she got. It wasn’t like her to linger, to get involved with someone she didn’t know. She had learned long ago to keep her distance, to keep her guard up. But you were different. The way you looked at her, the silence between you, it made Ellie feel like there was something more, something she wasn’t sure she could ignore.

You didn’t say much at first. When Ellie would bring food or clean bandages, you’d barely acknowledge her presence. But Ellie couldn’t stop herself from coming back, even if it meant facing the awkwardness of the silence between you.

One afternoon, Ellie sat beside your bed, watching as you stared out the window, lost in your own thoughts.

“How’re you feeling?” Ellie asked, her voice tentative. She didn’t want to push you. She didn’t know if you wanted to talk. But she was here, and she wasn’t going anywhere.

You didn’t answer at first, your eyes distant, as though the question hadn’t registered. Ellie’s fingers twitched with the urge to reach out, to make some kind of connection. But she stopped herself. You hadn’t asked for that.

After a long pause, you glanced at her, your expression unreadable. “I don’t belong here,” you muttered, almost to yourself.

Ellie’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“You’re too nice to me,” you replied, your voice barely audible. “I don’t deserve it.”

Ellie’s heart clenched at the raw vulnerability in your voice. She didn’t know what you had gone through to feel like this, but she could understand. She’d felt it too—like she wasn’t worthy of kindness, like she didn’t deserve any of it.

“Everyone deserves kindness,” Ellie said softly, her voice steady despite the way her stomach was twisting. She was trying to be strong for you, even though she didn’t feel strong herself.

The silence stretched between you, heavy and thick. Neither of you spoke again for a while, and Ellie found herself lost in her own thoughts. She wasn’t used to this. She wasn’t used to caring so much about someone she didn’t know. But there was something about you, something that made her want to stay.

[vagueconfusion]

I've been having this thought about Alkaline and the process of alkaline hydrolysis/aquamation (aquamation -> cremation -> funeral pyre?? (all the burial/earth imagery in the eps*) brain please I'm busy) and had the thought in the shower of wondering what the pH of the human body is and now it's taking over my brain and I can't tell if this is too far of a reach because I'm on the verge of doing a whole write up about this topic too.

(Summary: Alkaline possibly referring/being a metaphor for/about about a process called alkaline hydrolysis, which is used as an alternative to cremation and uses water and a strong alkaline solution (lye) to rapidly decompose a body in a matter of hours. The human body's pH is around 7, which is also the track number of the song Alkaline, and also the line "neither acid nor alkaline" would put the subject of the song at pH 7 as well. Which would make The POV Vessel sings from the lye solution)

Also This:

[undead-moth]

I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?

I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.

Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.

Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.

[caitlynmeow]

ugh gonna try to conjure my dimitrescu hyperfixation back by watching some videos and hoping for the best

[skrunksthatwunk]

idk if i've discussed it before (i have certainly THOUGHT about it) but someone on my kuwa suffering ep 89 comp mentioned it and i just had to go off about it like. ok. sensui tells yusuke something along the lines of "you heard itsuki" when itsuki's inside the uraotoko, implying that not only can sensui hear those inside the uraotoko, but that he expects yusuke to be able to as well. which means that yusuke Almost Certainly Heard And Kind Of Ignored kuwabara's prolonged mental breakdown and wailing about how much he needs yusuke to live etc. which. guHHH i hate him yusuke you ass but also listen.

the only acknowledgement yusuke gives to this (if any) is when he says something like "sensui you're sooo fucking cooked this plan's going perfectly (my friends are going to get strong and kill you when i die)." he's trash talking to sensui, ignoring the others because, i think, he doesn't want to acknowledge what he's doing to them.

yusuke is explicitly recreating the experience he had with kuwabara's "death" at the hands of toguro, complete with the announcement of intent (and power) to kill, the inability to impede the threat in any way (barring a power-breakthrough), and the target in some way racing towards/volunteering for their death. yusuke learns through doing, and through tough love-style approaches. it's only effective if it hurts. watching kuwabara die like that was devastating to yusuke, but it sure as hell fucking worked. he beat toguro because of that maneuver. so even if he has to (re-)traumatize his friends in the process, this method will make his friends stronger, and he feels confident in that. but he never had to live with the consequences of kuwabara's death, not really. that's something hiei makes clear before they enter the cave as well, that there are no fake-outs ready to make him or anyone else stronger. the only deaths here will be real. the only power gained will come at a high, permanent cost. hiei's warning is an attempt to keep everyone alive, to keep yusuke from being stupid. and then yusuke decides to take that fatality into his own hands, but it's kind of his friends who would pay the price. he's going to make them live through the days, months, years without him, the actual permanency of loss (assuming they survive for that long), something he never experienced with kuwabara (a new facet of that traumatic scenario), AND he's escaping the emotional fallout of this choice through death. he doesn't have to see them mourn, won't get yelled at, won't watch them fail to move on. he's tapping out and choosing to believe they'll be fine.

but i think he feels guilty. just a little. i mean, yusuke couldn't even believe that people cared about him enough to want him alive in episode one. he's staked everything on his friends, which means he still kind of... doesn't value his own life, at least not compared to theirs. but he believes his friends love him and want him around, and we know that because he has to, or else he wouldn't make a plan that depends entirely on that love. he is actively leveraging the care he doesn't think he deserves, trying to hurt them in a way he is intimately familiar with (only worse), for.... what, exactly?

this is kind of my sticking point tbh. i don't think the answer is... super clear, but let's start with what it's not.

yusuke is not doing this because it is the most practical way to save all of humanity; that would be the mafukan, which he stopped. it could be a gamble to save all of his friends? the mafukan strategy would guarantee koenma's death/eternal imprisonment, whereas this strategy gambles all of humanity on the chance that his friends come out of the Easy Break Oven strong enough to avert the end of the world. if the sacrifice of even one friend is completely intolerable, perhaps he'd accept those slim odds and their steep consequences. yusuke tends to take risks like that, especially when he's got fight-induced tunnel vision. he doesn't think things through too much; his schemes are usually dependent on surprising his enemy enough to oneshot them. truthfully, i think this is the closest we'll get to an answer, and it's a more conventional one for this kind of story. but there is another layer i haven't been able to get from my mind.

i think yusuke is gifting each of his friends an honorable warrior's death.

so, in case it needs saying, yusuke, kuwabara, kurama, and hiei all (at least once, if not several times) exhibit a desire to die in combat in a way they deem noble to give their lives purpose (usually by self-sacrifice, but sometimes by another metric of honor, like hiei's duel with shigure and his desire to die in mutual defeat against an evenly matched opponent; or even kurama's decision to fight shigure in his human form, displaying a sort of passive suicidality via placing being true to himself in this (somewhat symbolic/inconsequential) way over survival). they need to make their lives count for something, because they feel guilty for being alive (kurama and hiei feel guilty for their past actions (hiei's is most evident in his distance from yukina, though that's not its primary reason), hiei, kuwabara, and yusuke have all been ostracized and made to feel like burdens on/unwanted by their caregivers and general society; all four of them have felt profound isolation even from their loved ones (yusuke and hiei are rather obvious; kurama can never tell his mother about the majority of his life nor what she truly means to him in the context of it; and kuwabara is separated from his peers for his spiritual awareness and his "stupidity" (plus his parents aren't around? and he is Desperate to define manhood/manliness through a broader pop cultural one which includes the warrior sacrifice thing bc he has no male role models BUT that's for another post) (i will admit kuwa's the most tenuous one here irt isolation)). they want to die for a cause so badly it's actually physically painful to me. it is passive suicidality, and they define their lives and identities by their relation to, engagement with, and skill at doing violence, etc. they live to die by the sword. anyway. nobody talks about it but i think it's very important to understanding what yusuke's doing here.

because i think he knows that about himself and his friends. they're kindred spirits. at the very least he knows this about kuwabara, who literally made a speech about this before diving into toguro's fingers In The Event That He Is Recreating Explicitly. he is dying nobly like they all want to on the chance that they'll get to break out and fight sensui rather than dying without even getting to take a swing. it's about his pride and theirs. but i don't think yusuke necessarily believes they'll win. he knows better than anyone how strong sensui is, and how wide the gap is between sensui and team urameshi. his stated position that humanity is doomed and that he doesn't care about its fate is, i think, not completely genuine, but if we take it at face value, he's not killing himself so that his friends can survive the end of the world. something's going to come around and kill them eventually. he's doing it so they can survive long enough to fight sensui. he needs them (specifically kuwabara) to be strong enough to free themselves to begin round two. but he's given up on their side winning, on humanity surviving, on his own victory---why should he think his friends are capable of winning? this could be another case of yusuke's fight-blinders. it could be another gamble, more blind faith put in his friends. but honestly it reads more to me that yusuke's giving them a chance to die together on the battlefield. them winning would be great, but it's not his goal. it's a pipe dream.

he knows he's going to be killed. they're probably going to be killed, too. but to make it so they last a little longer against sensui, to make the odds a little more even, so they are killed not like livestock, but like worthy fighters, he'd die a little faster. it's the best kind of death someone like them can have; and he'll deprive himself of it just to make their ends a little sweeter. even if the road to that is far more bitter.

but it's not like yusuke's friends know what he's thinking or agree to it, and he can't exactly make his case for it in the moment. he's making that choice for them. whatever his intentions, whatever odds he thinks they have of beating sensui, he's kind of sealing all of their fates. so how the hell is he supposed to acknowledge kuwabara screaming at him not to die, trying desperately to express what yusuke means to him in what could be their final moments together? this plan is going to hurt his friends terribly. it is already doing so, and he can hear it. his choices to stop koenma from using the mafukan and to die for his friends' strength are both selfish in some way, no matter how you read the scene. if yusuke comforts kuwabara, he might not get strong enough. if he twists the knife, well... how could he forgive himself? and either way by responding he would have to face them all and say yes, i'm doing this regardless of your feelings (with the intention of hurting you). so i think he does what he often does. he avoids it. he lets that emotion glance off him and his bravado and his one-liners so he doesn't have to deal with the fact that he's hurting people, that he's scared and guilty and unsure of himself. that he's about to die again, about to put kuwabara through the grief he saw at his wake again, only worse; about to put his quieter friends through something similar.

yusuke is confronted with the responsibility one has to the people who care for them, and he runs from it in an attempt to give them some small peace. just like when he died before and thought hey, at least my mom and keiko won't be burdened by me anymore. because the only thing he can really do for them is die.

[iamthepulta]

The best thing about Italy and Europe is that linen just- exists here. I can go buy a shitty cheap 100% linen dress like I would go to Fry's and buy a shitty cheap 100% polyester dress in America. Absolutely revolutionary for my wardrobe. I can't actually buy wardrobe enhancements because I have a carry-on suitcase, but the fact I still have the option is amazing.

[necrotic-nephilim]

your Kon post was sooooo good, like yes the core four are queer platonic, however Kon is hypersexual enough to have made out with (or more) everyone in young justice at least once, yes, including the non-corporal Greta don’t ask me how that worked

I love all of these posts!!! how many of these ask game things do you have in your inbox??

thank you so much!! and i ABSOLUTELY agree with you on hypersexual Kon (truly i just adore characters with grooming/rape trauma like Kon coping through the lense of hypersexuality) and even if YJ is queerplatonic, Kon has made his way through most of them. including Greta. he's creative he'd find a way. probably involving TTK. bc TTK in sex is a thought i have daily. endless potential for using it to basically turn someone's body into a living fleshlight he can manipulate from the inside out- specifically have a TimKonBart idea in my head about that where Kon coaches Bart through sex, since Bart is a speedster with a bonkers refractory period who struggles to feel satisfied, and Tim is caught between them getting used to get Bart off with Kon using TTK to manipulate Tim's body. fun times. fun ideas.

currently, i have one more ask game ask in my inbox (tho always feel free to send more!) that's BruJay focused. though i *do* also have a couple other asks that are just ideas i pan to use as prompts for full fics. just haven't gotten to those yet bc i'm currently busy with packing to move states so. i have *not* had the time to write i wish i had. i will not reveal too much but one involves JayTim fucking during the Titans Tower incident, another is JayTim with animal traits leading to porn, and then another is Tim/Kon/Jon with incest kink stuff. so! i have many things planned, i just need to settle into my new place, however long that takes.

[futurewife]

so we can have a bonkers w.olverine horny revival whenever but only 10 people at any time want to fuck c.able. ok maybe I have special eyes. jk where is his special moment

[eggmeralda]

do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

So does félix have like… hobbies…?

[unriding]

ok i got really distracted but im back now

my writing feels a little rusty but we’re gonna ignore that. and the lack of editing. fuck it we ball

so like. moze is a very poorly socialized crow, right. but he trusts feixiao and jiaoqiu. you know what this makes perfect space for?

ultimate wingmen feixiao and jiaoqiu.

feixiao enjoys your company- she thinks you’re a very excited and endearing little thing. this isn’t your first meeting of course; you’ve met a few times before, just enough for jiaoqiu to notice the way mozes eyes linger on you. so feixiao is chatting with you, asking for details about what you like, telling you stories about being the general on the yaoqing, while moze and jiaoqiu observe from a short distance.

“i still don’t understand why you insist on staying here with me,” says moze in his usual flat tone.

jiaoqiu knows what he means, but chooses to tease him anyway, “what, i can’t keep my dear friend company?”

“aren’t you friends with her too?”

jiaoqiu smiles, “evie? yes, i think she’s friends with everyone she meets. she’s so sweet, i think she could even break through that icy exterior of yours,” the foxian tries to knock on the shadow guards chest for emphasis, but is firmly blocked by his hand.

“i disagree.”

jiaoqiu lets the comment slide as they continue to watch you and the general chat. he knows better, after all. moze typically needs time and exposure to acclimate to new people, but jiaoqiu is a very good doctor. though he’s no psychologist, he knows sometimes all a patient needs is a good push.

“you know, i think she had to be a foxian in her last life.”

moze raises an eyebrow at his friend.

“just look at her! if she had a tail, it’d be wagging nonstop.”

moze says nothing, but jiaoqiu has known moze long enough to know when he’s thinking hard about something.

and thinking hard moze is.

the next time you come up to the general or jiaoqiu to chat, mozes eyes are glued to you, picturing a dark, fluffy tail swishing back and forth with excitement. it’d make the ruffles in your skirts flutter too, he thinks. it could maybe even make the fabric ride up a little in the back-

he finds these thoughts haunting him constantly.

to be beside you and feel soft fur brush against his legs. to be behind you and catch peeks of your upper thighs- he wonders if you wear safety shorts. he wonders if you don’t.

such reprehensible behavior. you would be disgusted if you could read his mind. he can’t get himself to stop- maybe he doesn’t want to. he expects he’ll have to take these fantasies to his grave regardless.

what he doesn’t expect is more. more conversations, more texts, more time, more evie. and he finds himself with so much more evie that these fantasies to become more, too.

if you had a tail, what would make it wag the most? what would make it thump against him with indignation? what would make it puff up in surprise? if he touched you like this, would it thrash around behind you, out of control? how sensitive would it be compared to the rest of you? if he bent you over, would you let him use it to manhandle you on and off his cock while he fucks you relentlessly? would you wrap it around his wrist and cry for him to slow down, to beg him for mercy? would it tighten around him when he denies you, forcing you into orgasm after orgasm, because he knows just how his sweet girl likes it? how would you react if he-

“hello? evie to moze? anyone in there?”

moze is startled out of his thoughts as he feels you tug gently on his sleeve.

“are you okay? i’ve never seen you space out like that before,” you raise a hand slowly to gently feel against his forehead as if checking for a fever.

no. no, he is not okay. it took everything in him not to flinch at your touch because the contact made him realize how excruciatingly hard he is under the table the two of you are sat at. aeons, if the two of you were more secluded he’s not sure he’d be able to keep himself from pushing you halfway up the table and flipping your skirt up to-

“moze? your face is all red and you spaced out again. are you coming down with something? should i call jiaoqiu-?”

“no,” moze swallows thickly, “no, you don’t need to call jiaoqiu. i’m afraid i must take me leave now. i apologize for my abruptness.”

“it’s ok-” but moze is already gone, disappearing into a puff of shadow and crow feathers that flutter into nothingness once they hit the ground, “-oh.”

“did our dear crow fly off from you?” jiaoqiu appears out of nowhere, two boba drinks in hand. his smile cools the flare of disappointment at moze’s sudden retreat.

“uh- yeah, he did. he didn’t look great. i was just about to text you, actually,” you almost cringe at the way the feelings creep into your voice.

“well, i was on my way to bring the general a midday treat, but i suppose this justifies a sudden change in plans.”

“oh, i wouldn’t want to-”

“too late!” jiaoqiu is already seated, placing one drink- conveniently your current favorite- in front of you and shooting off a text to the general, “now, why don’t you tell me how your days been? i can probably think of some embarrassing stories about moze to get him back for leaving so suddenly.”

in his pocket, jiaoqiu’s phone buzzes.

feixiao: this has to be some form of mental harassment…i can’t believe you paid some random girl to walk in his line of sight and swish her tail to see what would happen! incredible work, jiaoqiu. i’ll start brainstorming our next move.

moze: i think i’m dying.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

I have thoughts about the TTPD speculation/two years/loneliness/sharing feelings through songs train but I'm putting them under a cut because. Yeah.

OK, so I'm giving a warning:

I'm talking about BTTWS, but NOT about the speculation/inspiration behind it. Just about the feelings in it and the Midnights of it all/the idea that sharing the difficult things brings comfort/companionship. So getting that out of the way so we can remove that part of the discourse out of it.

Regardless of whatever the inspiration/event behind BTTWS may be, whether it's about a loved one or personal, I've long felt that its inclusion on Midnights, an album about things that have kept her up at night, is significant in the feelings it portrays.

For instance, we can be fairly certain that Taylor wasn't actually turning in Scooter B. to the FBI and conspiring with his ex-wife to bring him down (or was she?) in Vigilante Shit, just as we can safely guess that she probably did actually pick up that pebble in Wicklow that reminded her of a peaceful time in Sweet Nothing. The line between fiction/reality, personal vs. narrative matters less on Midnights in this case than the feelings she was expressing in the songs, which are very personal and truthful. The revenge fantasy in Vigilante Shit is her working through her anger over having her masters sold and how she's fought hard to have the last laugh over someone who is a sworn enemy. Sweet Nothing is her reflecting on the dichotomy of her (presumed) quiet home life she felt was safe and the noise of the outside world. (Now, we might speculate on why she was ruminating on this, but that's another story.)

So with that preamble out of the way, BTTWS's inclusion in the tracklist I feel is just as important, again regardless of the inspiration behind it or her personal connection to it. Even if it is a song about someone other than herself, including it as the only "not personal/not diaristic" song on an album as ostensibly self-reflective as Midnights would stick out if that were thecase, though obviously it's her album so she can do whatever she wants and could have her own reasons. (Just like she included Ronan on Red and Soon You'll Get Better on Lover about similar themes, it could just be a tribute to a loved one.) But given all the thematic arcs and parallels on Midnights, I do feel like it's there to include a specific set of feelings being processed, even if the origin on the feelings may or may not be her own. (I'm trying to be really sensitive in my word choices here, hope they make sense.)

BTTWS is a song about loss and grief, and specifically the fallout of an event outside of her/the narrator's control. The person in the song has nothing to turn to to deal with their pain: no faith to guide them, no wisdom to tell them everything will be alright. Throughout the song there is a pervasive sense of isolation: everything is over, they're living without something that was once theirs but suddenly was not. It captures the fog and confusion of living through a painful event without having any way to process. She even says from the start that, "no words appear before me in the aftermath," which for someone like Taylor who has stated over and over how writing is literally how she processes her life would be the ultimate reflection of the depths of her hurt.

(To be clear I do not think this is a song about a breakup whatsoever: IMO it clearly is not about a relationship dissolution of any kind. I just think that the feelings of grief and loneliness in the song may have felt relevant to whatever she was going through during the time the album was coalescing in 2021-22.)

Knowing what we know now about at the very least the period between 2021-2023, Taylor was going through a time of significant difficulty in her life behind the scenes, which is how The Tortured Poets Department came to be, right on the heels of her completing Midnights sometime in early 2022. She has said herself that making TTPD was a lifeline, that she had to keep writing to deal with whatever it was that she was experiencing and going through. And as I posted about earlier today, she's also said repeatedly on tour that not only is writing about her feelings how she processes her pain and loneliness, but that then sharing that music with fans brings her great comfort because it makes her feel less lonely to know people understand and relate to what she's going through.

And we know that she has self-edited her albums over the years (including Midnights) to protect herself and perhaps even the subjects of her songs, which we have seen with the inclusion of the vault/bonus tracks in the re-records and on Midnights. Obviously some of these reasons are logistical -- album was too long, cut songs sounded too much like others, maybe she or her producers felt the ones that were originally chosen were stronger, narrative or sonic cohesion, etc. -- but with what we've seen over the last few years, these songs also filled in the lines of the stories being told and reframed the narrative being told.

Nowhere is that clearer than with You're Losing Me, for example. It's pretty obvious why it was held back: presumably she wouldn't want to release a song about a relationship at its breaking point when she was still actively in the relationship. Yet as soon as the relationship ended, she released it, we can only assume because of her realization that sharing the music and having people respond to it validates her feelings and makes her feel embraced, as it were. Then with the announcement of TTPD and how it's been brewing for essentially the intervening period between when YLM was written and now, we can also surmise that these songs will be dealing with feelings she also felt the need to hold back for whatever reason at the time, but has now decided should be out there so she can feel more whole.

So coming back to BTTWS, it being included on Midnights the way that it was strikes me as a form of sharing feelings that may have been too difficult to process. Again, not implying I have any insight into what the origin of the song is about, or imposing my own beliefs onto her, or that she was sending some sort of secret message with its inclusion! But thematically, BTTWS deals with an intense loss and feeling completely unmoored and alone as a result, which is present in her other work. And that the dreams the narrator once held have gone up in smoke, leaving her reeling about what's to come next. She's cut off from the world because of the event, unable to speak about or grasp what has happened. Similar feelings are also explored in You're Losing Me for instance, and even Dear Reader (not to mention on past albums like evermore, this is me trying, arguably hoax, etc.). Just reading context clues from TTPD and her surprise song choices of late, I don't think it's outrageous to presume some of those emotions are going to be present on the new album as well.

So this is just a long-winded way of saying, I feel like the sense of loss, confusion and uncertainty about the future likely resonated with both what she had gone through in the past, and the story as a whole she was trying to tell on Midnights. And while the origin may or may not be personal or relevant to the new story she's going to tell, I also feel like these same kinds of themes are going to be present on TTPD because they're so important for her to share. (I could even mention that the response to BTTWS may even provide evidence that people sharing their experiences in general brings comfort to those going through it, but that may be veering too far into parasocial "why did Taylor do X" speculative territory.) She sings about these kinds of all-consuming losses so eloquently and mindfully that I know the new album is going to be an absolute gut punch.

(not being self-promotional but I delved a little deeper into the Midnights 3am tracks including this one a few months ago so it's why it's top of mind and why the connections and thematic parallels are so resonant to me lately.)

[lerios]

the difference is that narvin wants to serve romana because he believes he should serve (whether the actual thing he's revering is gallifrey (the Right and Proper option), or romana as she comes to replace it in his worldview doesn't matter anywhere near as much as he would have hoped)

brax wants to worship romana because he believes she specifically deserves to be worshipped (and that he's the only person clever and refined enough to deserve to do it)

and before you ask yes i absolutely mean this in a horny way 🥰🥰🥰 and the soul of brax/narvin/romana is about forcing the uncomfortable combination of these things

[ozcarma]

Trying to watch 999 let’s plays is such hell to me - NO ONE PLAYS THE GAME RIGHT just shutupshutupshutupshutup and play the game!! Stop trying to make jokes!!!!

I’m too autistic for this, I cannot bear hearing let’s players doing their own voice acting when I adore the game’s VAs too much. Everyone always fucks up Santa’s and Lotus’s voices especially.

I understand the draw of Let’s Plays are largely the people playing them who have gained their own following, but as someone who just loves the game I don’t wanna hear ur stupid banter 💥💥💥 play the game and be intrigued but not TOO intrigued because give it a fuckin minute it’ll explain what’s going on 🙄‼️